Archive for the Family Matters Category

The Child Becomes the Parent

Posted in Family Matters, Parental Guidance Suggested on December 6, 2010 by JustJennyRebecca

Jenny? Jenny!

Yes, mom?

Don’t. Be. Alarmed. But I think you should call 911. Or the Toxic People. No, 911. I don’t know.

Mom, you’re stoned. It’s OK.

Oh God. I can feel my blood pressure dropping.

Yep, you’re stoned.

I took one of your Vicodin before you came home. I should’ve told you. I think I’m dying.

First, stop taking my Vicodin – I don’t have health coverage. And you’re not dying. You’re. Just. Stoned.

Oh no. I’m tingly all over. I can’t walk. I think your friends gave you “Bad Shit”.

Nope. Tingly = “Good Shit”. Pretty sure

15 minutes later…..

Jenny?

Yes, mom?

I’m sorry I ever doubted the integrity of your friends with the “marry-jew-wanna”. Hahahahahaha. I can’t feel anything. Anything…

That’s nice mom.

Jenny?

Yes?

You’re such a good girl for taking care of me. What should I tell the cops?

What cops?

The cops. When they come to bust me.

Bust you for what?

For smoking the “marry-jew-waaaanaaaa”.

Nobody cares mom.

I’ll tell them I got it from the maintenance man!

What maintenance man?

There’s always a maintenance man! With weeeeed.

Ok, mom.

No, no, no… I’ll tell them I’m 61 fucking years old and they can fuck off!

Ok, mom. I promise nobody cares. Nobody’s coming to bust anyone.

Are you twucking?

Huh?

Twicking? Twucking?

No, mom. I’m not “tweeting” about you. (totally lied.)

15 minutes later….

POISON CONTROL!!! Hahahahahahaha!!! Fuckers. Not “Toxic People”. Hahahahahaha.  ***see line 3 at top***

The rest of the conversation seemed to be between my mother and the voices in her head. They all seemed to be having a lovely time.

*I* certainly was having a lovely time because after days and days of listening to my mother cry I just couldn’t take it anymore. She wants to die. She’s severely depressed. She’s almost immobile. She’s in constant, chronic, debilitating pain stemming from 40+ years of spinal trauma. If giving her the “marry-jew-wanna” is going to make her smile and stop the crying for just a few moments a day, then so be it. I’ll be the kid that gets her mom stoned.

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I Miss My Grandmother and also Cancer is Crap

Posted in Family Matters, Uncategorized with tags , on January 19, 2010 by JustJennyRebecca

My grandmother died of cancer when I was about 14. I didn’t get to see her or say goodbye. I think about her every single day, as I have for over 20 years. I think about her strength and love and her ability to do all things and be all things to everyone. She was Superwoman. She worked full time, raised two daughters, a husband and two granddaughters. She cleaned and cooked and was the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister, grandmother, neighbor, and friend. She was all these women, did all these things with a smile on her face and a cocktail in her hand, because that was what was expected of her. My grandmother never complained; she never asked for help and she certainly never got tired or sick. Until one day she did. And it was cancer. And there it had been for a very long time. And it was too late. There were no months. There were no weeks. There may have been days. And then there were none.

My grandmother started a trend it seems. Everyone else in my family has died of cancer. Except my grandfather. He did have cancer, but that’s not what killed him. He was always a rebel, my grandfather. But my aunts, uncles, cousins? If they’re dead, they died of cancer. It’s never the same kind; everyone seems to get something different. I’m not very close with my family anymore, extended or otherwise, so we never talk about these things. It was different when my grandparents were alive. Mona and Gayle. They were the glue that held us all together and without them we just can’t seem to stay connected.

A few years ago when my favorite uncle was diagnosed with cancer I actually did some research. It seemed strange to me that someone could get cancer in the esophagus. Stranger still that they would die. And he did. And then his wife was diagnosed with cancer a few months later. So now that I’m older I do a little research when someone gets cancer, if for no other reason than to just know what’s going on. I didn’t do anything when my grandmother died and she is my favorite person in the world. Ever. So I do research, just like I research the cancer that’s killing my dog. And I read survival stories, and I read about new treatments on the horizon. And I just keep reading. I may never be able to have an intelligent conversation about cancer, but the knowledge that I can tuck away inside my little brain makes me feel better, for some inexplicable reason, about my grandmother.

If you or someone you know has been touched by cancer please know that knowledge is power and sometimes that’s the only power you’ll have. There are many websites to help you along the way, places to share stories and connect with others. Sites like Navigating Cancer are a good place to start.